Book Reviews: Non fiction for teens & parents

Good Reads For Your Adventure Travels

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CHILDREN'S AUDIO BOOKS

Please Note: The books and Audios reviewed here are my honest opinions. I received these unsolicited and free for promotional purposes, but I simply do not review the ones I do not believe to be review worthy.

I Wish Daddy Was Here by Katherine DeMille is a simple little picture book which is a priceless treasure for a preschool child whose parent is away in the military service. For families of men and women employed overseas, the time a parent is away is painful, and this little book depicts many situations through the year when Daddy is not present to enjoy them with the child. In the end Daddy returns and everyone rejoices. This book is a good tool for helping young children express emotions of loneliness and the sense of loss so many soldiers' families feel. A very good book to read and re-read with your child.

I Love To Swim by Rita Goldberg This is the perfect book for preparing a child for swimming lessons.Since many youngsters are frightened of the water or of putting their face underwater, this book will help overcome the fears. Many of the situations which beginner swimmers go through are depicted as a game to play before the swim, and after, to reinforce the fun of being in the water and that there is nothing to fear. The author was a competitive swimmer in Great Britain and has opened many swim schools in the United States and Britain. She knows how to teach children water safety and fun. Excellent!

Turtle Town: The Inner Puka by Melissa M. Williams is for an imaginative story for children to join little Snap Shell, a box-shell turtle who must move from Texas and leave his friends behind. When he arrives with his father in California he has to make new friends, which is not easy as a newcomer. He finds a surfing group and wants to fit in with the society of surfing sea turtles, but he is different and must prove himself. With many humanized situations of put-downs and competition and winning, grief and joy, he discovers true friends, learns about protecting the earth, learns his family history including how his mother died, and achieves his goals and finds true love as he learns to enjoy his new home. Although I was put-off at first by the peculiar humanization of the animals and the placing of a box-turtle among sea-turtles, I realized as I read the book that this story shows children how to cope in real-life difficult situations when they feel alone and like they don't fit in. For grades 4 - 8, I suggest parents discuss the book with the children as it leads to helpful conversations. An entertaining read with good undertones of enrichment.

Wildlife of Southern Africa by Carol Polich is a beautiful quality soft cover book in small format, easy for children to enjoy holding also. The beautiful photos of wildlife, often up close, offer glimpses into their world of strange habits, caring for each other, family life, fighting for survival, relaxing in the wild, and just plain doing unusual and often humorous antics. The photographer is skilled and had to be quite patient in her pursuit of these often difficult moments in the wild because photographing wildlife in their natural habitat is not an easy task. She has traveled through Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Lesotho, Zambia, and South Africa to bring these photos to her readers. Each photo has a few sentences telling a fascinating fact about that animal. I appreciate the small format because small children will love holding the book and turning the pages as the parents talk about the animals or read to the youngsters. EXCELLENT!!

The Lego Mindstorms NXT 2.0 Discovery Book by Laurens Valk is a beginner's guide to building and programming robots. It is the perfect handbook for anyone who owns the new Lego Mindstorms NXT 2.0 set (Lego Set #8547), which is designed for ages 10 and up to enjoy learning about robotics and engineering while building an actual working robot. The book details step by step with excellent pictures and simple instructions just how to create many different robots from the kit. The kit, however, is just under $300, so it is not just a toy but a real classroom learning experience, which can be done with a group or at home. The author, who helps design NXT robots for Lego, is an instructor of robotics in the Netherlands. (The book and kit are in English.) The technical reviewer for the book is Dr. Damien Kee, who is an electrical engineer and robotics expert who has designed many forms of robots, including humanoids. He is editor in chief of the NXT classroom at http:/theNXT classroom.com/ , a website that provides support and resources for teachers. The book excellent and clear, like having the teacher right on the table with you, for anyone who wants to learn robotics from this fun building kit.

AMAZING TALES FOR MAKING MEN OUT OF BOYS BY NEIL OLIVER This is a well written and well planned book of short stories, each with a lot of drama that appeals to boys. The stories are chosen to teach strength and character and fearlessness in face of trials. However, I wished that not so many dealt with proving oneself through war and battles. If that doesn't bother you, there are some strong stories with good points of character built in, and the book will hold a teen's attention and keep him reading, or parents can read and discuss the stories with elementary aged youth.

"Like Whatever": the Insider's Guide To Raising Teens By Rebecca Kahlenberg, Editor. This book is a priceless tool for any parent of a teen, especially fathers. Written by professionals and parents together the book is a treasury of tips and advice that has proven helpful with today's teens for today's problems and situations that confront both teens and their parents and affect the relationship. The chapters are all from personal experiences with real families and tell the pitfalls, what worked and what didn't, and it is all told with humor and balance. Chapters cover Teens and Our Culture, Generosity, Risk, Driving , Money, Faith, Discipline, Health, Single Parenting, Games, Fitness, Travel, College Admissions, and Blended Families. Each Chapter has excellent summary tips that are helpful take aways in a nutshell. The book is a MUST for EVERY parent of teens today. This will be your daily guide and best friend for these perilous years so you can help your teen make wise choices and keep communications open for the best possible relationship and outcome for these final formative years and his or her approaching adulthood. EXCELLENT and NECESSARY!

Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children by Joe S. Mcilhaney, Jr., MD and Freda McKissic Bush, MD ...WOW! What a POWERFUL TOOL to help guide your children through the minefield of teen years when new hormones are raging and threatening to make your teen out of control and have the potential of ruining his or her life. Now, with this excellent book, you have the necessary FACTS of the risks posed by promiscuous and premature sexual activity, instead of just speaking in terms of morals or family values. In the last thirty years studies of the brain have revealed how damaging immature sex and sexual activity with multiple partners can be, not only in terms of the 25 new sexually transmitted diseases, (most of which are viral and hav not cures), but also in terms of promoting low self esteem and suicide. The statistics of casual sex in high school and college are astounding, with over 50 75 percent of children 15 19 being participants in some form and over 70 percent of college students having frequent sex. The book gives the new facts, which give parents non embarrassing tools for talking to children about uncommitted and casual sex. It also outlines dangerous situations which parents can help their young people avoid so that they can make wise decisions regarding sex. THIS BOOK IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST FOR ANY PARENT!

The Chetah Girls One World from Walt Disney Records is the newest release from the group, who are a favorite with the kid set. This interactive video takes CD's to a new level with CDVU, which has many extras including video dancing lessons with the girls teaching the steps, words to the favorite songs so can sing along with your favorite new ones. There are video clips and automatic connections to Disney.com. Kids of all ages will enjoy this new release.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to The World of Narnia by James S. Bell Jr. and Cheryl Dunlop is an encyclopedic study of the different aspects of this imaginary and mythic world created by C.S. Lewis. It includes the pertinent facts of Lewis life and what influenced his writing. The book has excellent information about myths and fairy tales and how they relate to Narnia. There is discussion of the morals Lewis is teaching through story. And the characters and their relationships of the humans and the Narnians are explained, as well as the map of this imaginary world. Literary illusions and hidden truths are pointed out. This guide will help adults and children navigate the wonderland of Narnia and its related books.

Secrets of Success from CosmoGirl! Magazine is the book resulting from a five year campaign by the magazine to encourage young women entering high school, colleg, or the work force to think outside the box, set high goals, and determine to reach them...with the expectation that by the year 2024 we will have a female President of the United State (however, I hope Hillary Clinton will make it happen in 2008)! This book is a compilation of the magazines's one feature a month, which has featured an outstanding person who set big goals and became tops in her or his field. The book is an EXCELLENT gift for any young woman.

The Noah Confessions by Barbara Hall is a new book for the young adult reader and within the captivating mystery are a lot of good examples of what can happen to teens who make poor choices or choose the wrong crowd. Young Lynnie expects a car for her 16th birthday and is quite disappointed with her father's gift, which looks old and shabby. She rebels in ways to hurt her father. But the gift ultimately reveals her much about her dead mother and the story of her youth. The book is a good one for teens.

MIRANDA AND STARLIGHT SERIES OF SIX BOOKS BY JANET MUIRHEAD HILL, ILLUSTRATED BY PAT LEHMKUHL is an absolutely delightful new horse book series. Written for upper elementary and young teens, the books will fascinate adults as well. I couldn't put them down! Ten year old Miranda, the orphaned product of a broken home, vanished father and wild mother, lives with her grandparents on their farm. She loves horses and dreams of owning one, but believes it could never be possible. The first book introduces the beautiful horse of her dreams and how she becomes attached to it through lying and mischief, for which she gets into trouble. Being the new girl in her classroom, she is shunned by the "in crowd" and develops a troubled friendship with the lonely Laurie, a mulatto who feels like a misfit, and Chris, the "fat boy" in the class. Their escapades and trials capture your mind and heart. Every young person will adore this series!

Technical Virgin by Hayley DiMarco is another of her outstanding books that pull no punches and have totally plain talk and facts about sex which teenage girls need to know. The statistics of STDs in young teens is appalling, and DiMarco tells the straight facts about how "just messing around but not going all the way" can also cause a person to get sexually transmitted diseases, depression, and other severe health and psychological problems, in addition to the risk of pregnancy. The book is written for Christian girls and their parents but would be beneficial to all teens, male or female, to know the facts. As unbelievable as it seems to parents and older generations, a large percentage of girls from early teens are engaged in all types of sexual activity, even when they have pledged abstinance, because to these young people nothing but intercourse is considered sex. Parents, this is a MUST READ with your daughter.

101 New Puzzles, Clues, Maps, Tantalizing Tales, and Stories of Real Treasure , Treasure's Trove Puzzle Book Companion 2

101 New! Puzzles, Clues, Maps, Tantalizing Tales, and Stories of Real Treasure is A Treasure's Trove Puzzle Book Companion 2. Each colorfully illustrated page is filled with fun puzzles and brain teasers and mind twisters of many different kinds, challenging adults and kids in many fascinating ways. This would be a terrific book for a family road trip or for holiday entertainment for groups or individuals and family vacations. You can solve these alone or in groups, silently or aloud... for many entertaining hours. There are puzzles concerning geography and math. There are intriguing tales of real buried treasures. This little book, officially recommended for ages 9 12, is really perfect for gift giving!

Scared Poopless by Chiclet T. Dog and Jan Rasmusen

Scared Poopless: The Straight Scoop on Dog Care by Chiclet T. Dog and Jan Rasmusen is a cleverly written manual/guide to rethinking canine health and safety. Written in Chiclet's own voice, he tells how all the things we do to our beloved pets feel from the dog's perspective. The wording is enjoyable to read and packed with valuable information on every aspect of dog care from buying or adopting your new pet to bathing, vacinating, training and many more aspects. Even if you have belonged to a dear dog for many years you will learn a lot from this terrific book. Of course, you can spend as much money on your pet nowadays as on a human because pet surgery and hospitals have become so advanced and sophistocated, so maybe you can email Chiclet about pet health insurance here too (even though millions of American people don't have any!). In Chiclet's Trivia Treat he does comment on doggy face lift surgery for winning pet shows! The book is well indexed and the chapters have subject categorized in the margins of each chapter, so you can find emergency information quickly. This book, awarded the Benjamin Franklin Award of excellence, is a must have for dog owners, and a delightful read too.

Sock Monkey Dreams by Whtiney Shroyer and Letitia Walker and Michael Traister

SOCK MONKEY DREAMS: Daily Life at the Red Heel Monkey Shelter by Whitney Shroyer and Letitia Walker with Photography by Michael Traister is a beautifully illustrated treasurery of imagination and fun. Within its pages you'll learn from Newsmonkey Benny Hathaway and socktographer Link Ray the daily lives and antics of the beloved red heeled friends so many of us have loved for several generations. Have you ever wondered what your sock monkey does while you're asleep? Did you guess he has a life of his own with other sock monkeys and that when they are outgrown, shabby, or cast away, these monkeys gather at the Red Heel Shelter to console each other and tell tales and news of the other sock monkeys out there! You'll learn about weddings, history, lore, quirks, foibles, and tales of the religion, education, entertainment, commerce of the sockciety, which reflect those antics and everday happenings of their owners. The authors live with 150 sock monkeys in Asheville, NC. A delightful book for sock monkey owners.

Sexy Girls: How Hot is Too Hot? by Hayley Dimarco with Bible quotations throughout is written for the Christian teenage girl, and every parent of one will be so happy it has been written in down to earth teen language by a young woman who is good looking and very successful and has BEEN THERE, so she understands what is going on with girl's and women's fashions of today. She explains how what a girl wears screams to the world how she is marketing herself! She explains in plain language what showing flesh in certain areas does to the males that see it. "They are turned on by what they see...Showing off more than you are willing to give is what we call false advertising." Dimarco discusses how males react and what they expect from the way girls dress; what tatoos, belly button rings, tongue piercings, cleavage, and low rise pants and high rise underwear of today's fashion scream to men, and how girls, because they have no testerone on the rampage, are clueless of what their attire is saying about them. The book offers excellent self analysis of wardrobe and self concept and great suggestions of how to put together a look that is complimentary and stylish and gives the real ideas of who you are. The book is an EXCELLENT and much needed guide through the minefield of today's popularity for teenage girls, as well as adult females!

The Story of Grey Owl by Lori Punshon and Illustrated by Mike Keepness is a delightful new children's book which children from pre K through 10 will enjoy. It is based on the true story of the Englishman who chose to come to Canada in early Twentieth Century to live with the Ojibwa tribe and adopt their ways. Given the Indian name "Grey Owl," he became one of the greatest advocates for ecology and made speeches to young and old about saving the forests, animals, and wild places. He was instrumental in having some of the National Park Reserves in Canada established and he prevented the beaver from becoming extinct from over hunting and trapping. The soft illustrations are perfect for children and are done by a self taught native Pasqua First Nation man. Your family will really enjoy this book and follow it by renting the movie of Grey Owl.

CLEMENCY POGUE: FAIRY KILLER BY J.T. PETTY, ILLUSTRATED BY WILL DAVIS is a new Tween age young adult series that I found to be a bit violent and would be frightening to many children. It is about fairies who are like annoying or evil bugs and the child hero kills them by remembering the magic phrase from Peter Pan. The series surely appeals to pre teens who enjoy combative video games and will find the young Clemency Pogue quite funny. Besides penning children’s fiction (three novels to date), JT Petty is a highly successful video games writer, Hollywood screenwriter and independent filmmaker. And he’s only 29 years old! The Clemency Pogue series was recently acquired by The Jim Henson Company, with whom Petty is working closely to adapt the story to the big screen as an animated motion picture.

CLEMENCY POGUE: THE HOBGOBLIN PROXY BY J.T. PETTY, ILLUSTRATED BY WILL DAVIS In Petty’s irreverent, fantastical tale, The Hobgoblin Proxy, feisty fairy killer Clemency Pogue is back! Looking for a new adventure, Clem summons her hobgoblin friend Chaphesmeeso, who brings Kennethurchin and a new mission for Clemency. Kennethurchin was stolen from his cradle as a baby and replaced with a changeling. Since changelings are made of clay, they dissolve when they’re given a bath – but because Kennethurchin’s changeling has never bathed, he’s still at large. Now Kennethurchin can’t become a hobgoblin, so it’s up to Clem and Chaphe to track down the changeling and return him to the ground. But the changeling, who is already nine years old, has ideas of his own.

100 THINGS GUYS NEED TO KNOW is by Bill Zimmerman, twice nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for his writings for young people about current events and issues they face. He is former editor of Newsday, the nation's largest newspaper, and author of over a dozen books. 100 Things Guys Need To Know is an EXCELLENT cartoon styled book for pre adolescent and adolescent boys to help them cope with the changes in their bodies, emotions, and relationships in a positive way. Nothing is more important than helping a youth know that making wise choices amidst peer pressure and internal quandaries is a good thing. This book is the perfect tool to help any boy (ages 9 13) thrive in his teen years and understand what is happening to himself internally and physically as well as socially. The book teaches good skills and positive choices and healthy habits in six categories: Self, Body and Mind, Family, School, Relationships, Future. I cannot recommend this book highly enough! It is written to the youngster himself and is easy enough to understand, and the cartoons help the boy identify with situations common to every teen. The book is also an excellent one to read with your children to open conversation about issues you may not know he is dealing with at school or other areas of his life. A WONDERFUL book to give any boy you know, love, and want to make wise choices in order to navigate the turbulent teen years successfully and create a happy, future for himself. . .

Being a Dad by Dale Alderman is a delightfully funny book about the experience of new parenting as told by a father of two boys under seven years of age. From the initial homecoming with new bundle of joy to the potty training to school days, Dad relates the embarrassments, the horrors, and the joys with hilarious candid personal experiences. This book will make any parent grin and say, "Been there, done that," as he or she chuckles through re living the memory from this dad's perspective. This is a perfect gift book for expectant or new fathers, or to make any daddy laugh! A fun read. .

Hi, Dad Let's Write Keeping Families Connected from CTC Publishing is a set of very special postcards and envelopes. Each has a new question or thought to help stimulate the "conversation" by mail and to develop a closer relationship between a father and his child who does not live with him. The concept of this set is remarkably simple, and the set is a priceless gift to any child who is not near the parent. By all means, purchase these regularly for gifts for your children friends. THey can provide a sense of security and well being for both the dad and the child, and they are not intimidating in concept as "writing a letter" can be. You'll be delighted with these. A marvelous idea and well designed kit, nominally priced. .

Hey, Dad Let's Talk A Game for Keeping Families Connected new from CTC Publishing is a WONDERFUL family game which stimulates good conversation and helps each family member get to know each other one better in a fun and easy going way. The game is not to win or lose but for everyone to have fun. Although it is designed for special time between dads and children, Moms can certainly play too. There are question cards which stimulate meaningful and insightful answers and lots of fun talking. When you provide a response to a question you get a Family Fun coin as a reward. Whoever lands on the Caring Corner must talk about a way to show a family member that you care about them. If you land on Trouble Time you talk about a problem you have and ask another family member for advice. Dads, have you ever asked your kids for advice on a work related problem? You might be surprised at how helpful their advice can be! If you land on a Value Avenue you get to talk about something you really like about your family. The game ends at Meeting Square where all Family Fun coins earned are counted and the family prize is determined. It might be to play a game of catch, to take a walk together, to color together, to bake cookies together, or to go to the library or a movie together. The date set for the reward is a commitment which each family member holds sacred and follows through. This is an innovative stimulus to modern families who need more meaningful time together. Good communication is the key to any relationship's quality. A perfect gift for any occasion. .

Stop Parenting and Start Coaching by Carol Carter, Gary Izumo, and Joe Martin is a quick read with lots of good information for parents of teens and for teens themselves. With helpful points to remember, which are easy to grasp and implement, the authors show how parents and teens will have a happier relationship, with better guidance for a successful maturity of the youngster, if parents adopt the same approach a good coach takes for his team. An example is that a parent has love for his or her teen while a coach has tough love. Parents often dwell on a youngster's mistakes, while a good coach builds on one's strengths. The book offers sound, easy to follow advice which proves itself in rearing successful and happy young people into maturity while maintaining good family relationships. A very helpful guide with a club parents can join for further support and monthly newsletters.

DATEABLE: ARE YOU? ARE THEY? by Justin Lookadoo and Hayley Morgan is an excellent book for teens who are just beginning or already in the midst of the dating game. The authors, nationally acclaimed for their understanding and relating with kids, write this book from years of experience in the field. Lookadoo is a juvenile probation officer and Morgan launched The Hungry Planet teen think tank, reaching out to thousands of teens across America. The male/female author pair tell teens in plain language how to deal with their passions and turn them toward developing themselves into the most they as individuals can become, living up to their full potentials and achieving their highest dreams. The authors not only warn of the pitfalls of young dating relationships, but they also speak plainly about how both girls and guys can avoid the inherent traps in our culture which can destroy their lives. The authors address young readers in their own "teen" language and call a spade a spade about what happens in the dating relationships, how the guys really think, how the girls really think, and what they can do to understand and protect themselves for a long and happy future instead of destroying it and all around them in one hasty, passionate moment, whether it be drugs, sex, or some other fool hearty experiment. This book is a MUST for all teens, and a valuable tool into understanding and loving themselves through the most difficult period of their lives.

1. Children's Novels About Palestinian Jewish Relationship Building

THE ENEMY HAS A FACE (a novel for age 12 and up)

by Gloria Miklowitz, Eerdmans Books, Grand Rapids, MI, 2003, 143 pages, age 12 and up

There is more on the Web at http://traubman.igc.org/bookchild.htm#face

In this thoughtful and suspenseful 2003 book for youth, Gloria D. Miklowitz explores issues of Middle Eastern relationships through the eyes of young people on both sides of the age old conflict. The surprising conclusion to the novel will leave readers with a renewed understanding of other people

SNOW IN JERUSALEM (a novel for ages 6 10)

by Deborah da Costa, Illustrated by Cornelius Van Wright & Ying Hwa Hu

32 pages; water color and pencil drawings; map; Albert Whitman & Co.; Morton Grove, IL.; 2001

There is more on the Web at http://traubman.igc.org/bookchild.htm#snow

This optimistic story is the first children's book by author Deborah da Costa. Its messages is of tolerance, compromise, and peace. Two boys one from the Jerusalem's Jewish Quarter, the other from the Muslim section of the walled city reconsider their own boundaries, expand their identification, and find a solution together.

2. University Theses About Jewish Palestinian Dialogue

See them at http://traubman.igc.org/theses.htm

BRIDGING DIFFERENT TRUTHS: Creating Dialogue for Reconciliation and Healing

International Christian University, Tokyo, 2003

BUILDING PEACE BETWEEN PEOPLE: The Role of NGOs in Transforming Relations Between Israelis and Palestinians

by Louis Alexandre Berg, Brown University, 2000

CONVERSATIONS FOR PEACE: An Oral History of the Path to Palestinian and Jewish Reconciliation in Two California Communities

by Alison Helise Rubalcava, California State Univ Fullerton, 2001

___________________

STRAIGHT TALK ABOUT YOUR CHILD'S MENTAL HEALTH: WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMETHING SEEMS WRONG, by Dr. Stephen V. Faraone, PhD., Every parent from time to time observes unusual or alarming behavior in children, and it always is a nagging worry, "Is there something seriously wrong? How would I know?" And there is always the embarrassment or fear of stigma, which makes parents delay in seeking professional advice or consultation. Now there is an excellent book by Dr. Fafaone, an award winning Harvard researcher and child psychologist. He provides more than just standard answers and advice for the troubled child; he helps parent cut straight through the fog of anxiety and indecision to get a handle on whate might be wrong and how to find the best help. He identifies specific symptoms and warning signs and criteria to decide how severe they are. He gives comparisons to normal behavior for children of the same age. he helps parents piece together clues pointing to five main childhood problem areas. And he offers ways to find help and support within the school system. Although his style is no nonsense, Dr Faraone is sympathetic, compassionate, and reassuring in his approach. With suicide, drugs, sexual problems, and identity crises and depression looming in today's children, all parents need this book to help them asses their child.

Author of "STOP MY CHILDHOOD FROM DROWNING! 39 Lessons From a Child Experiencing Divorce By E.R. REID has very helpful suggestions from experience for SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS AFTER DIVORCE: KEEPING THE CHILDREN FIRST. " Divorce. I have been there and done that, along with 19 million other adults in this country.," the author states. Although it has lost some of its stigma over the years, divorce hasn't lost any of its heartache. As a divorced parent, nothing is more heart breaking than watching the impact of divorce on your children. They are usually the last to know and the most affected.

But even more painful is the first time you have to spend a holiday apart from your children. As busy professionals, a holiday is one of the few times we can break the routine and spend significant quality time with our loved ones. Having to forfeit this time with my children was, for me, strange and empty (sad is an understatement).

WHAT'S A WORKING PARENT TO DO?

So, how can we minimize the pain and make the holidays most enjoyable for our children and ourselves? As a corporate strategist, my success comes from knowing how to see issues from my client's perspective. As a parent, I needed to do the same thing for my children. Having observed both healthy and unhealthy post divorce families, my suggestions are derived from seeing divorce from a child's point of view. The key thing to remember is that we divorced our spouses but not our children. Efforts should be made to ensure their happiness, which in turn will help ensure our own.

KEEP IT SIMPLE

Divorce is traumatic enough for children without adding unnecessary complexity to their schedule. Decide early on who will take the children on which holiday, and avoid splitting the day (one of you has them in the morning and one in the evening). Splitting the day is disruptive to everyone's celebration because the anticipation of knowing you have to go somewhere else makes it hard to enjoy the few hours you do have together.

It's highly recommended that if you have two or more children you don't split them up. Whether they express it or not, children support and comfort each other. Splitting them decreases their sense of security and connection.

A phone call in the morning to say hello and wish them a great day is a must to help them feel okay about being away from you for that special day. But don't lay guilt on the children by telling them how much you wish they could be with you instead. Just wish them a great time and tell them you look forward to seeing them when they return again.

Most importantly is that both parents send a consistent message to the children that the holidays are still a special and great time of year even though both parents won't be sharing it together.

YOUR CHILD IS WATCHING, LISTENING AND RESPONDING!

Our children learn culture, character and esteem from us. They take cues about what is acceptable from what we do, not necessarily from what we say. The way you handle yourself and your relationship with your former spouse will be the way your children learn to handle complex issues and relationships in their own lives.

So, even after the holiday, move forward productively by bagging the bitterness! Instead, focus on taking away helpful lessons from your marriage experience. Then, use this new knowledge to become better. Despite the reasons you divorced, your mental attitude is critical to not only surviving, but thriving as a family. If you have the right mindset, then you can feel confident that you and your children will be all right.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

If you are not with your children this holiday, make sure you spend the day with supportive family and/or friends. Avoid "the downers" as I like to call them, which are friends who speak negatively to you about your ex spouse in order to arouse your anger. Spend time with those that love you and want to help you move on by giving you new and better things to talk about.

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